i don’t recall many memories from my childhood. it is perhaps because many of them were suppressed for reasons which escaped me until now.

for instance, one thing i always remembered from my early years at Watkins Elementary is that i was sitting or standing on the blacktop for recess, near the playground. i may have been reading a book at the time. i did not have many friends at that time.

there was a light-skinned boy in a button-up shirt whose name escapes me. i don’t recall the precipitating events but he said something to the effect of “you can’t do that to me, i’m a girl.” in my childish naiveté i replied, “you’re not a girl,” to which the boy responded with a coy smile and a Disney-like affect, “I’m a magic girl,” and spun around and away from me.

that event alone did not raise much concern in my mind over the following decade or so. however, i have now come to acknowledge the prevalence (indirect or intermittent as it may be) of the spirit of the “magic girl” manifest in or through certain male peers of significantly lighter complexion than myself. and furthermore i have come to understand that the boy on the playground was likely carrying the spirit which has been trying to gain entry into my house.

to be sure, the spirit or demon is not a girl, but some kind of innocent-looking gay rapist who presents femininely through a pale masc body [or otherwise attends to the act of fornication and self-indulgence]. up until and including the first time i had vaginal intercourse, i was involved in several gestures or passes with this entity.

i am not gay and am not attracted to men. i fully appreciate the soft comfort of a woman — their body, their presence, their voice…[i would say “desire” but it is now my understanding that desire is the root of all suffering, and I am given to a certain obsessive tendency in the absence of conscious self-discipline.]

i have struggled through my sexual life to remedy the circumstance of the proximity of this entity to me. the women i have dated, however, eventually perceived the nature of my predicament and they ultimately expressed masculine or lesbian-based aggressions against me, further confusing me.

i pray at this time that full disclosure of these matters will abate the negative conditions i have come to experience regarding self-worth, relationships, and sexual intimacy; and I submit that the contract between this entity and myself is hereby and forever dissolved, nullified, and dismissed with prejudice: it shall not be brought back before me or otherwise used against me before the World Forum or Universal Tribunal. all demons attending to this contract are ordered in the name of YHVH by and through his King and Messiah YHVSHA to cease and desist their harassments, molestations, and injuries against me.