there exists the distinct possibility that what my audience often laughed at as “falling asleep behind the wheel” after traveling from Montana to Maryland is actually much more unsettling (and no less unsettling than the fact that the natural reaction of the audience to whom I told my adventures and tribulations was laughter in the first place).

to be sure, the scene of my total damage on the 19th of August, 2025, followed the sighting of two other total damage events in the rolling mountains of Appalachia. harbingers and omens abounded, and I was coming upon Cumberland with but two more hours to Washington. I was traveling down a fairly steep grade listening to a classic rock and roll song; before me the road bent right, the left guardrail barrier came to an end and a grassy median widened into a ravine that created a difference in the plane elevation of the opposing lanes of traffic. from the pictures I later took I know that directly behind me on that particular line of travel rose the crest of a highly symmetrical mound-shaped mountain against an otherwise clear sky.

and so I’m traveling straight downhill in the left lane totally aware of the good song on the radio and the act of safely operating my conveyance with my seat belt on when — darkness — an unknown duration — and the feeling of front left collision — at which point I become aware that my conveyance had made contact with an object (the rounded end of the guardrail at the bend in the road on the mountain) and sent my vehicle rightward — which grave error I instinctually and by God’s Grace corrected toward the left side of the highway to where my briefly-uncontrolled vehicle should have stabilized onto the dirt shoulder — but instead it hit *another* obstruction which thence caused it to flip over into the median and roll several times across the ravine and up the incline, and back down on its blow-out wheels by the Grace of God. and when the wreckage came to rest, I heard the same song playing. in the aftermath I came to find that the second obstruction was a lone four-ish-foot metal pole set impenetrably and mysteriously into the side of the road in the mountain.

and many things ensued thereafter, and I contemplated many reflections in the wake of it, but I have only now come to consider — after the somewhat unsettling and also recent realization that many birds and bees and planes and other aerial phenomena are quite possibly masking effects for a variety of non-human intelligences which are exposing themselves to us in these last days like perverted flashers of Har-magedon — that the unquantifiable indiscernibly dark blankness that transpired to cause me to careen into destruction may possibly be the “tree” of a tractor beam from some craft from another dimension which darkened those mountains behind me that fateful day.

(and what I mean by “tree” is that, subsequently [in the context of the overall lesson to be learned from this experience], I was playing the game with my friend and his girl in her apartment when, while operating my horse-drawn buggy through the woods, I collided with a tree and got stuck in the trunk as a glitch in the game and attempted to buttonmash my way to freedom when my entire conveyance firelessly exploded sending my player and horses and carriage very high into the sky and I landed some distance away and got to my feet without any decrease in my health stats, and I looked around the tree-less terrain and saw my horses dead on the ground. and we all laughed and laughed, for we were astonished.)

now certainly I could have merely spontaneously “fallen asleep” for those two or three or four seconds — or I could have become road-hypnotized by the specific convergence of physical and circumstantial conditions — or a tractor beam of interdimensional light might have been cast upon my vessel so as to remove me from the operation of the vehicle and then return me thereto right at the time those few seconds had elapsed. how long and for what purpose this entirely hypothetical encounter transpired, I do not presently know. I only know enough to relay the instant testimony. was it verily to commission me, Antarah, to establish an office of Weasel, Badger, Beaver, Mink & Otter, Parters at Law and Equity, on the banks of the river Nacotchtank? surely that was not the sole purpose, but if it was a purpose, then that purpose has been fulfilled. as it is written in the Beaver Jesuits’ TRACTAVS.ai, the Weasel Badger law firm is ultimately a shell company of the Beaver Medicine Society of Jesus. this is the very same beaver medicine of the Blackfeet people of the west of this land, who were visited by the Society of Jesus who came from the East in olden times.

therefore it is said, <Dams Up Water to the Flathead Nation sent Novus Syllabus Seclorum; Confederated Salish, Pend d’Oreille and Kutenai, Blackfeet, Crow, Lakota, and Cahokia to Nacotchtank sent Medicum Castoris Societas Iesu in mendicans contemplativus Frater Doctor Dams Up Water, care of firm of Weasel, Badger, Beaver, Mink & Otter, Partners, at McDomine’s Assembly of Yahuah In Moshiach (MAYIM) autonomous particular church sui juris in the Grove-Outside-the-Walls at Sacellum Sanctissimi Salvatoris ac Sancti Nat et Ala ad Syllabyim autonomous local church sui juris>.