Tagged: fan

D:\Coda

[retrieved from temporal location M:\Dec 20, 2013 at 10:15 PM]

A thirty-six-mile straightaway between two cities … what’d they used to call those? a highway.

The black, cracked concrete absorbs all one-hundred-ten degrees of heat and humidity bearing down on the time-scorched earth, exacerbating the stench of garbage and carcass discarded over the past few years.  Mounds of black trashbags filled with Gaia-knows-what (banana peels, industrial waste, limbs arrested by rigor mortis … ?) cause what few motor vehicles still in operation to swerve violently every ten feet in the manner of Elmer Fudd or some other ridiculous cartoon.

Ah! here comes one now.

A black sedan of unknown make rockets around the bend at ninety-miles-an-hour screaming as black rubber melts off its tires.  It hits several mounds of garbage, causing gallons of pink biotoxic sludge to engulf its crumpled frame.  The windshield wipers start running as the car swerves toward the shoulder of the road and pulls back just in time.  When the window is thoroughly cleared, the sunroof opens and a man of about twenty years with black mussed hair and eyes covered in large black goggles pokes his naked torso through the ceiling.  He is passed a large black garbage bag from below and hurls it behind the speeding car, impact causing the bag to explode and leave food by-products, grease, and paper flailing back in the wind.  He is passed another bag and discards it in the same manner.  A third, fourth, and fifth bag follow.  The load is large because it has been a week and a half since the neighborhoods garbage was taken out.  The man recedes back into the car; the sunroof closes.  The sedan makes a sharp left, tumbling over the depressed, dusty medium, kicking up a bellowing mushroom cloud in its wake, makes its way onto the opposite side of the road and accelerates back the way it came.

The sedan sped toward its end in the city of the Third Province of Shaolin with the fury of a runaway train destined for derailment.  Within its compartments sat the High Chief and Osiris, with his Highness as the wheel making devilish jerks of the vehicle to avoid a nasty collision with the garbage mounds which they had, most likely, lain there weeks or months in the past.  The passenger windows were rolled all the way up and smoke from a woolie lingered with apathetic regard toward the furious winds speeding past the outside of the vehicle.  High Chief bore with his foot all two-hundred-twenty pounds of his mass upon the accelerator.  He took two hits of the blunt and passed it to Osiris, the bare bodied boy.

Osiris took the roach, too small to wholly embrace, and tucked it between the edge of his thumb and index finger, raised it to his dry, black lips, and inhaled.  He let out a wheeze of a cough and his flat, untoned abdomen contracted abruptly, causing him to drop the roach.

–Fuckboy, said High Chief, in a voice that groaned.

–Fuck it, God, shit was cashed, knamsayin, no loss.  Fuck it, where we goin’, God?

–Back to the Island to go the fuck to sleep, God, a nigga chashed, knamsayin.

–Word life, God.

They were silent for a while then, until Osiris asked, –Yo, Chief, hol’ up, hol’ up, where my Killer tape at, God?  You dun had it since last fuckin’ week, where the fuck is my tape at?

–Yo, son, I ain’t got that piece, son.

–How you ain’t got my shit when I let you hold it, man?

–Yo, niggas came over to have forties and blunts, kid, the shit just came up missin’.

–Come on, man, that don’t got nothin’ to do with my shit, man, come on, man, go head with that shit, man.

–Come on, man, I’ll buy you four more fuckin’ Killer tapes, man.

–Fuck that shit, God.  Just then, a face call came in over Osiris’s stolen phone.  When he answered, an associate known as the Golden Arms appeared on the screen.  He said, out of breath, –Yo, yo, God, word is bond, yo, Shameek just got bust in his head two times, God.

–Word?

–Word life, God.  You know Shameek from fuckin’ 212, God?  The nigga just got bucked.  Nigga’s in a black Land, God, word is bond.  Came through, God, from outta nowhere, God.  Word is bond, I’m coming to get my culture-cypher, God.   And they just … word is bond, crazy shots just went the fuck off, God.  The nigga layin’ there like a fuckin’ newborn fuckin’ baby, God.

–Word?  Is he dead, asked Osiris.

–Is he fuckin’ dead?  Fuck you mean is he fuckin’ dead, God?  What the fuck kinda question is that?  Fuck you think?  The nigga layin’ there with his fuckin’ … all types of fuckin’ blood coming out his fuckin’…

–Fuck, God.

–Yo God, what’s up, God?  It’s the God, God, word is bond.  Yo, what’s up?  I’m ready to fuckin’ lay.  I’m ready to get busy, God, what’s up?

Osiris said, –Yo, go do what we gotta do.

High Chief then turned his head toward the screen in Osiris’s hand.  –We out or what, man?

–It’s the God, God, fuck that, man, said the Golden Arms.

–You sayin’ we out? asked High Chief.

–Yeah, God, let’s get the fuck, son!

The line went dead.  –You heard the God, said Osiris, –Let’s buck.

–Word, God … oh, oh, hol’ up, God, said High Chief looking out of his side window at a fixed-gear biker rocketing down the opposite side of the  highway.  The biker turned his head momentarily and then quickened his pace.

–Oh, fuck, God, hell nahh, said High Chief, –Fuckin Skeletons be fuckin up.  His Highness made a sharp left, rumbling over the median again, and drove back toward the biker.  The sedan accelerated past one-hundred-miles-per-hour and approached the biker who, as they neared him with the stark-white “W” painted on the hood of their stolen car, appeared to descend into fear and madness.

–We got this nigga, said High Chief, and he rammed into the biker who, upon impact, was hurled into the shoulder of the road, propelled backward like a ragdoll, his limp body kicking up a dust storm like a mere bag of garbage…

Naturally, no one of good character lived in cities anymore, although it was arguable that none ever did.  Five decades after this event, an inquiring mind could find the upper crust of society, not in any real-world location, but in cyberspace.

Vigilantes having been condemned to live out their remaining days on the polluted surface of the earth, all people of culture were stored underground, and the highest form of art was now executed in code.

[See D:]

…In the night, from fixed-gear bikes, the chant rang out, and was heard round the world–

“We have a body in decay;
We have a mind in disarray;
Off with the head,
The rest may stay,
So hands may mold with fresher clay,
And feet may walk a better way
Toward a new and brighter day.”

(The ramifications of this campaign naturally progressed toward a more violent state than intended…)

Machine had a row of chain links, wrenches, pliers, and such, lined up real meticulously on the small metal table to the side like he was the dentist from hell or something.  Guy on the operating table, so to speak, was a real goon of a fellow.  Went by the name of Osiris.  I didn’t like him, but I sure as shit felt sorry for him, cause Machine had few if any of what the kids call morals.  I mean, there was don’t go against the crew, don’t fall off your bike … but on a personal level, it was a free-for-all among us Skeletons.

They call us the Skeletons because of our bikes—bare bones steel.  No breaks, no gears, no grips, all rip.  Fixed gear to the death, we’re known to say.  The chain-rings of our bikes are built larger by Machine, so there can be more teeth.  It makes it hard to shove off, but with a higher ratio we can sustain sixty-seven-mile-per-hour speeds on the straightaway.  Lack of breaks makes it impossible for us to stop at speeds like that.  We like it that way.

Anyway, our friend Osiris was looking a bit pale.  Hell, if I didn’t know the effect old Machine tended to have on folk, I’d-a thought I was looking at a ghost.  Our captive had the complexion of bone.

Or location, furthermore, was not the kind of place that would have made Osiris feel at home.  We were in the basement of the old City Bike warehouse in the Southeast Quadrant.  That’s Federal City, if you don’t know.

This old place had only one light in operation.  It had started flickering a month prior.  When it goes out, we’d have to find another location for HQ—cause it’s hard to get bulbs in these times.

But for the time it was nice and perfect, about 7,500 square feet of blood-splattered concrete, with metal gates as tall as the 50-foot ceilings all rusted and whiny; they section off the rooms nicely.

All of our bikes were lined up along the far wall next to the elevator that used to service the bike warehouse when it was still in operation.  The bikes also used to belong to the warehouse, but we stripped ’em, and they’re ours now.  They’re our livelihoods.  And listen, these weren’t loud, obnoxious, growl-growl, spewing smoke, asshole bikes.  These required no oil, not that we had any.  Like I said, our bikes are why we’re called the Skeletons.  We’d take our bikes to the strip, this forty-mile stretch between  Federal City and the Third Province of Shaolin, which has been known as Baltimore, once upon a time.  We were notorious on those roads, but the 36 Chambers were notorious, too.  You know of the 36, a.k.a the Three-Six Mafia, a.k.a the Anarchists, a.k.a the Regime, a.k.a the Nine-Deuce, a.k.a the Nine Chambers, a.k.a the Shaolin Shadowboxers, a.k.a the Wu Tang Clan.  You know them.

Word on the street was that a couple of the top generals were breaking away from the order in First Province of Shaolin in Old New York to start up HQ in Federal City and Former Baltimore.  We needed answers.  Lucky for us, we saw Dirt McGirt, a.k.a Osiris, cranking his pussy carbon frame down the strip, so we picked him up.

Now we had to get him to talk.  That was Machine’s specialty—I mean besides building and welding and shit.  He had this theory—you could say it was one of his few morals.  He used to read all those Daredevil comics, you see, and he believed that if you lost one of your senses, then your other senses grew stronger.  So if the dude Osiris didn’t have much of a capacity to talk now, then maybe he’d have to lose one of his other sense to enhance that capability, knamsayin, God.  Machine always started with touch.  He had those pliers by his side ready to pull off a couple of fingernails.  After that, if the guy wouldn’t talk, he had a spoon there for sight.  But Machine didn’t even get through the first fingernail before Osiris broke:

–Aight, God, aight, aight.

Machine looked up.  I could see that he was a little disappointed.  Before he could decide if Osiris needed further instigation, the bossman Frankie the Break came out of the dark corner beside Machine.  He was called “the Break” because he was the only person in the whole crew—hell, in the whole fucking city—who could skid to an immediate stop on Machine’s chain-ring.  He was a big fellow—big, not fat—and covered in tattoos like a mosaic, head-to-toe.  His big bald head had a tattoo of a chain-ring on it, too.  He was the by-goddest hardcore guy I knew.  That’s why he was boss.

–Get away from him, Mac, said Frankie the Break.  Then he said to me, –Hey, “Fixed Gear” Charlie, crank that chair up.

Yeah, that’s what they call me: “Fixed Gear” Charlie Bones.

I uncrossed my arms and went over and cranked the lever at the bottom of the chair, lifting the back up so that Osiris could see Frankie face-to-face.  He was all tied up, so he couldn’t really do it himself.  Frankie the break had a wooden chair with him.  He spun it ’round and sat down in it reversed, resting his arms on the chair-back.  In his hand he was shaking, as if he had a nervous tick, a spare crankset.  He had the machinery gripped tightly in his hand and the chain-ring moving around like a stationary hand-saw.  After a while he said, quite casually,

–You the one they call Osiris?  He pulled out some cigarettes.

Osiris nodded, ‘fraid-like.

Frankie held out the softpack to him but Osiris shook his head.  Frankie shrugged and lit his jack with some matches he had.  After he had taken a puff, –You from the land of Shaolin, I hear.  First Province.

Osiris nodded.

Frankie took a drag and exhaled slow.  –And I hear you’re a prominent member of the group they call the Wu Tang Clan, and affiliated Killa Bee assassins.

Osiris did nothing.

–In fact, you’re one of the top dogs.  A member of … the 36 Chambers of Death.

Osiris remained still, save a twitch in his eye.

–I was just thinking that you could tell us … what the fuck y’all are doing in Federal City, Skeleton turf.  And, while you’re at it, maybe you could tell us why six of my guys are, well, six feet under.

Osiris said nothing.  His eye continued to twitch.

–You look like you’ve got something in your eye, Frankie exhaled.  –Machine can help you with that.  Machine … 

Machine came back over with his spoon and straddled Osiris as he was strapped in the chair, then Osiris started shouting like the devil was biting his ass.

–Aight, God, aight, I’ll talk.

Machine dismounted him, again disappointed.  –Good boy, said Frankie the Break.

Osiris took a deep breath.  He closed his eyes, then he started:

–Look, God, I grew up on the crime side, the Empire Times side, where stayin’ alive was no jive.  I had second-hands, my mom’s bounced on old man, so then we moved to Shaolin Land.  A young youth, rockin’ the gold tooth, ‘Lo goose; the only way I began to G-off was drug loot.  So yeah it started like this, son, rollin’ with this one, and that one, pullin’ out gats for fun.  But it was just a dream for the teen that was a fiend.  I started smokin’ woolies at sixteen.  Runnin’ up in gates and doin’ hits for high stakes, making my way on fire escapes.  No question, I would speed for cracks and weed.  The combination made my eyes bleed.  No question I would flow off to try to get the dough all, stickin’ up white boys on ball courts.  Shiiid, my life got no better.  Same damn ‘Lo sweater.  Times was rough and tough like leather.  Figured out I went the wrong route.  So I got with a sick-tight clique and went all out.  Catchin’ keys from across seas, rollin’ in MPVs, every week we made 40 Gs.  Yo, nigga, respect mine, or anger the TEC-9: Ch-chick-BLOW, move from the gate now.  

–Well what the fuck made you wanna move down here to the Fed, God? asked Frankie

–‘Cause, god, you know, cash rules everything around me.  Shit’s flowin’ in the Fed, knamsayin.  Shid, you know; you the one that fuckin made it.  Aye, don’t get salty, my nigga it’s the game, it’s the stuggle.  Niggas out’chea starvin’ and shit.  C.R.E.A.M—Get the money.

–Dollar, dollar bills, God.

–Aye, yo, Frankie, nigga, I hope you know, doe, the Clan’s watchin’ you, God.  We got eyes all across these Fifty Provinces.  The fuckin’ Chambers ’bout to rush up in yo shit, God.  Ain’t no escape, my nigga.  Kill me, my nigga, and a swarm of fuckin’ beez gone run up in this piece God, murda the whole island.

  Frankie the Break took a deep breath and flicked his jack.  He stood up.  –Well, then, he said, –If what you say is true, the Shaolin and the Wu-Tang could be dangerous … Do you think your Wu-Tang sword can defeat me?

Then Frankie the Break reared his big hand back with the chain-ring and careened all fifty metal teeth into Osiris’s head.

We all stood around in slight awe.  After some time, I said, to ease the tension, –Survey says, your dead.

No body laughed.

Machine wiped his hand down his face and said to the bossman, –You know you just started a war, right?

Frankie the Break lit another cigarette and said, –Bring the motherfucking ruckus.

(But, if there was hope to be had for the human race, it was in the Recluses, and it was in revering the only true sense of reality humanity would have known for a hundred centuries …)

[See D:]

Ninety years later, the earth did flood, and the atmosphere suffocated all the remaining organisms.  It had been written by a prophet that the waters would freeze in an ice age, and the old earth would be uncovered as rock formations made up of compressed concrete, brick, steel, rubber, PVC, glass, and other structures which would be interpreted by later scientists to have been formed as naturally as the Himalayan mountain range or the Bisti Badlands (but that would not happen for another several millennia, when the next cycle of evolution yielded the inevitable human brain.  It was essentially a fact now that the evolution of a species as superior as man would harken the end of the earth in the Coda-Gaia by building a great machine, one far beyond the logo-computational capacities of man—but without the morale—which would yield negative ecological returns on its efficient and ever-speeding progress.)  Until, then, however, the world would hibernate and life would sleep, as would love, sex, womb, mother, birth, infancy, youth, adulthood, maturity, and death, in their absence leaving infinite.  In the coda, Gaia wept herself to sleep.

Mustelid Friends 8: Beavers in Space

or, Rice World

Created and Produced by Dams Up Water

In the neon half-light of a decaying interstellar port, Mr. Capybara adjusted his lapels and tried to remember where things had gone so wrong.

It had started, as these things often do, with rice.

Not the innocent, steaming kind you’d find in a humble bowl, but the kind that powered empires—processed, commodified, and vacuum-sealed for hyperspace transit.

Royal Arabian Oil had gotten greedy. They always did. First they disrupted terrestrial shipments, then orbital ones, and before long the whole interstellar rice exchange looked like a spilled sack in zero gravity. Mr. Capybara, once a respectable baron of modest corruption, now found himself tangled in litigation so vast it had gravitational pull.

So he went back to the only place that had ever managed to keep him one step ahead of ruin: the law firm of Weasel Badger Beaver Mink & Otter.

Their office floated in a slow orbit five thousand miles above New Arrakeen-on-Potomac, a brutalist slab of concrete and ambition. Inside, the air smelled faintly of ink, damp fur, and firm resolve.

Weasel met him at reception, thin as a clause and twice as slippery.

“Back again, Mr. Capybara?”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Capybara muttered. “You people bill by the heartbeat. I’m your favorite kind of repeat customer.”

Badger emerged from a shadowed hallway, carrying a stack of files that looked heavy with others’ misfortune. Mink and Otter followed—the one calculating, the other smiling like a settlement already signed.

And then there was solemn spectacled Father Beaver.

He didn’t say much. Never did. But the room shifted around him, like reality itself had been notarized in his presence.

“You’ve got rice woes,” Beaver said.

“I’ve got existential woes,” Capybara replied. “The rice is just the side dish.”

They ushered him into a conference room where the walls flickered with projections of shipping routes, legal precedents, and celestial trade lanes. Somewhere in that mess was the truth—or at least something billable.

“Royal Arabian Oil’s interference,” Mink began, “constitutes not just a breach of contract but a disruption of the sacred flow.”

“The current,” Beaver added quietly.

Capybara sighed. “Don’t start with the theology.”

But it was already too late for that.

Because behind the firm—behind all firms, all contracts, all quietly devastating negotiations—stood the Beaverjesuits.

Led by Father Beaver, they weren’t just clerics. They were custodians of something older than law and more binding than any agreement: the onstreaming current of the spirit. Not metaphorical—literal. A current that flowed through trade routes, through belief, through the very idea of exchange itself.

And the Beavers had always controlled it.

Not openly, of course. Never crudely. They preferred instruments—firms, orders, societies. Layers of plausible deniability wrapped in ritual and paperwork.

“The rice must flow,” Weasel said, almost reverently.

“The rice always flows,” Otter corrected, “but only where it is permitted.”

Capybara leaned back, feeling the weight of it all press against his ribs. “So what’s the play? I sue? I settle? I disappear?”

Beaver tapped the table. The projections shifted.

A desert planet appeared—vast, dry, and shimmering with fields not of sand, but of dormant grain, waiting for the right conditions to awaken.

“Intergalactic expansion,” Father Beaver said. “New markets. Untapped resources.”

“Prospects,” Mink added.

“Liability redistribution,” Badger clarified.

“And prophecy,” Beaver finished.

Capybara groaned. “I knew there’d be prophecy.”

That’s when they told him about Little Beaver.

The young, mendicant friar from the banks of Old Nacotchtank, raised among the doctors of the Beaver Medicine Society of Yahushua HaMoshiach.

The doctors weren’t just healers. They were interpreters of the current, reading its fluctuations like vital signs. And they had seen something in Little Beaver.

Something impossible.

“The Kwisatz Haderach,” Otter said softly.

Capybara rubbed his temples. “Let me guess. He can be in two places at once, see the future, and audit my accounts retroactively?”

“Close,” Weasel said. “He can bridge the legal and the divine.”

“And that’s bad for me how?” Capybara asked.

“It isn’t,” Beaver said. “Unless you’re on the wrong side of the current.”

Which, Capybara suspected, he usually was.

Then there were the Brothers of Beggars Contemplative—a ragged, stubborn branch of the interstellar Djedi knighthood. They lived among the rice deserts, wore patched robes, and spoke in riddles that somehow held up in arbitration.

They were the only ones who truly understood the rice.

“They don’t control it,” Badger said. “They live upon it.”

“Which makes them dangerous,” Mink added.

“Or at least indispensable,” Beaver said.

The room fell quiet.

Outside, the rain kept falling—on the city, on the ships, on the endless chain of transactions that held the universe together by a thread of obligation and belief.

Capybara looked at the projections again. The desert. The child. The currents.

“You’re telling me,” he said slowly, “that my legal troubles with a corrupt oil conglomerate are actually part of some grand intergalactic realignment of rice, religion, and revenue streams.”

“Yes,” said Beaver.

“And my role in this?”

Beaver’s round lenses glinted like polished wood in low light.

“You adapt,” he said. “Or you get written out of the big rice contracts.”

Capybara exhaled, long and slow.

He’d always known the game was rigged. He just hadn’t realized how far up it went.

“Fine,” he said. “We expand. We litigate. We… commune with the current or whatever it is you people do.”

Otter smiled. Weasel started drafting. Badger stamped something with unnecessary force. Mink began calculating outcomes that hadn’t happened yet.

And contemplative Father Beaver?

He simply watched the current—unseen, unstoppable—flowing through it all.

Because in the end, it wasn’t the oil, or the rice, or even the law that ruled the stars.

It was the current.

And the Beavers had always known exactly where it was going.

Part II

Mr. Capybara had never trusted anything that was described as “empty.”

Empty accounts weren’t empty. Empty promises came due with interest. And now, moored in drydock hovering above New Arrakeen-on-Potomac, was the largest space-worthy grain silo ever assembled—a cathedral of hollow steel called The Immaculate Deficit.

The plan, as drafted by Weasel and notarized by forces both domestic and angelic, was elegant in the way a forged signature is elegant: convincing enough to pass inspection, dangerous enough to ruin everyone involved.

The decentralized Royal Arabian Oil conglomerate now controlled the terrestrial rice supply chain all the way up to the Saturnian Threshing Floor and Clearinghouse. The Archangelic Police Force—winged auditors of cosmic compliance, their halos doubling as surveillance arrays—patrolled the network. Between the two, nothing moved without permission.

So Capybara would move nothing.

No rice. No declared cargo.

Just a ship light on the manifest.

“Absence,” Weasel had explained, tapping a clause, “is very difficult to regulate.”

“And even harder to tax,” Badger had added, with something like admiration.

Capybara stood on the command deck as the clamps released. The ship groaned like an old debtor waking up.

“Engage drift engines,” he said.

The Immaculate Deficit didn’t launch so much as excuse itself from orbit—slipping sideways into a corridor of neglected jurisdiction, where laws blurred and enforcement lagged.

Below them, the lights of the city flickered. Above them, the stars waited like unpaid invoices.

“Contact?” Capybara asked.

“Royal Arabian Oil patrols sweeping the primary lanes,” Mink reported. “Archangelic units triangulating anomalies.”

“Do we qualify as an anomaly?” Capybara asked.

Otter checked a screen. “We qualify as a phenomenal curiosity.”

“Good,” Capybara said. “Those usually get deferred.”

They moved through deep space like a rumor—hard to pin down, harder to prove. The ship’s manifest updated itself constantly, a living document of strategic ambiguity.

Cargo: None.
Intent: Undetermined.
Purpose: Under review.

It worked.

At least at first.

The first interception came as a shimmer—a ring of light forming ahead of them, resolving into the unmistakable wheeling siren of the Archangelic Police Force. Their vessels weren’t built; they were declared, luminous chariots of authority and omniscient surveillance.

A voice filled the bridge, calm and absolute.

“Unregistered transit, identify cargo and submit to audit.”

Capybara leaned forward. “We are transporting nothing.”

A pause.

“Clarify: absence of goods does not constitute absence of obligation.”

Weasel’s voice crackled over comms from the firm’s remote advisory channel. “Invoke Clause 0.”

Capybara smirked. “We invoke Clause 0.”

Another pause, longer this time.

Clause 0—the most dangerous stipulation ever written into a contract—stated that nothing, properly defined, could not be interfered with without first being proven to exist.

The Archangelic vessels flickered, their halos dimming as they processed the paradox.

“Your cargo,” the voice said carefully, “is not identifiable under the terms of interspace commerce.”

“Correct,” Capybara said.

“And therefore…”

“Exempt,” Otter whispered.

The light wheel dissolved.

Capybara exhaled. “I love good lawyering.”

But Royal Arabian Oil wasn’t so easily stalled.

They didn’t argue black letter. They obstructed procedure.

A fleet emerged from the dark—blocky, brutal ships that looked less like vessels and more like statements of intent. Their engines burned with the slow fury of monopolies.

“They’re going to ram us out of the corridor,” Mink said.

“Can they?” Capybara asked.

“Physically, yes. Legally… ambiguous.”

“Then we make it spiritually impossible,” Father Beaver’s voice came, low and certain.

Capybara didn’t ask how. He had learned not to.

“Full drift,” he ordered. “Let the current take us into hyperspace.”

The ship shuddered. Systems dimmed. The Immaculate Deficit surrendered control—not to chaos, but to something subtler.

The space way.

Not visible. Not measurable. But felt—a pull beneath the equations, a flow beneath the routes.

For a moment, Capybara swore he could hear it. Like distant water. Like whispered clauses being negotiated by the universe itself.

The Royal Arabian Oil ships advanced—

—and missed.

Not by distance, but by dimension. Their trajectories intersected where the Deficit should have been, not where it was becoming.

“Trajectory mismatch,” Badger muttered over comms, almost impressed.

“They’re aiming at our declared position,” Otter said.

“We’re not declared anymore,” Capybara replied.

They slipped past.

Deep space opened up, vast and indifferent.

Days—or something like days—passed. Time got loose out here, unmoored from billing cycles and court dates. The crew stopped asking questions. Even Capybara stopped pretending he understood.

And then, at the edge of perception, the desert planet crowned.

A sphere of muted gold and pale dust, its surface streaked with dormant fields of rice waiting for the right disturbance to awaken. The rice world.

“Arrakeen Minor,” Mink said. “Or whatever the locals are calling it this century.”

“Home,” Beaver murmured.

They descended.

The atmosphere caught them like a held breath. Sand—or something like sand—spiraled upward, whispering against the hull.

“Scans?” Capybara asked.

Otter frowned. “No formal defenses. No structured ports. No—”

The blaring of alarms cut him off.

Shapes rose out of the desert.

Not ships…

but figures.

Cloaked. Angular. Moving with a precision that felt less like motion, more like unintentional. The Brothers of Beggars Contemplative.

“The Djedi resistance,” said the Otter.

“They’ve been waiting,” Badger said.

“For us?” Capybara asked.

“For a sign,” Beaver replied.

The figures surrounded the ship as it settled onto the surface. No weapons visible. No threats declared.

Which, Capybara knew, meant something worse: Negotiation.

The hatch opened with a reluctant sigh.

Heat flooded in. Dry, ancient, and carrying the faint scent of grain and prophecy.

Capybara stepped out first, because that was the kind of mistake he specialized in.

The leader of the Djedi Assembly stepped forward, face obscured beneath layered cloth. When they spoke, their voice was rough with disuse and assurance.

“You bring an empty vessel,” they said.

Capybara spread his hands. “It’s a free and open market.”

The figure tilted their head.

“There is no empty,” they said. “Only what has not yet been seen.”

Capybara glanced back at the ship, at its hollow holds and carefully drafted nothingness.

For the first time since launch, he felt a flicker of doubt.

Behind the Djedi, the desert shifted.

Not wind.

Movement.

Something vast beneath the surface, stirring in response to their arrival.

“The rice,” the Djedi said softly, “is waking.”

Capybara swallowed.

He had come here to escape a lawsuit.

Instead, it looked like he’d just filed one against the universe itself—and the universe had decided to appear in person.

Part III

The desert did not roar.

It audited.

A low, granular vibration passed through the ground beneath Mr. Capybara’s paws, like a ledger being balanced somewhere far below the surface of the world. The Brothers of Beggars Contemplative stood motionless, their patched robes fluttering in a wind that hadn’t yet decided to blow.

“You awoke it,” the Djedi Master said.

Capybara adjusted his cufflinks. “I tend to have that effect on systems that prefer to remain dormant.”

Behind him, The Immaculate Deficit creaked—its vast, empty holds now echoing with something new. Not cargo. Not quite. A presence. As if absence, pushed hard enough, had finally looped back into being.

And then Little Beaver stepped forward.

No fanfare. No thunder. Just a small figure moving with a quiet that made all else feel like paperwork waiting to be filed.

The Djedi Assembly parted before him.

Father Beaver—of the firm, of the current, of the most solemn Society—lowered his head in reverent thanksgiving to the Most High God.

“His time has come,” the Beaver said.

Little Beaver looked at the ship, then at the desert, then at Capybara—who, for reasons he couldn’t articulate, suddenly felt like a clause about to be struck.

“You tried to move nothing,” Little Beaver said.

Capybara shrugged. “It’s legally defensible.”

“But nothing,” Little Beaver replied, “is where everything begins.”

The ground split.

Not violently—no explosions—just a clean, surgical opening, as though the planet itself had found a faulty line item and decided to expand it.

From beneath the desert rose the rice.

Not fields. Not crops. Memory. Potential. The primordial grain—unprocessed, unpriced, unowned. It flowed upward in shimmering currents, each kernel a possibility, each possibility a future.

“The rice,” whispered a Djedi.

“The source,” offered another.

Little Beaver stepped into the rising current.

For a moment—just a moment—he was everywhere.

On the bridge of the Deficit. In the conference room of Weasel Badger Beaver Mink & Otter. In the ledgers of Royal Arabian Oil. In the omniscient eternal patrol of the Archangelic Police Force.

He bridged it.

Legal and divine. Material and spiritual. Profit and purpose.

The Kwisatz Haderach—not a conqueror, not a tyrant, but a reconciler of systems that had long pretended not to be in equity.

Capybara watched, slack-jawed.

“I should have charged a consultation fee,” he muttered.

Above them, the sky fractured.

Not broke—revealed.

And he descended—not in fire, not in wrath, but in a clarity so absolute it made every prior misconception feel like a bad joke told too long.

Yahushua HaMoshiach.

The final arbiter of a contract written before time had learned how to number the years.

The Djedi knelt. The Beavers bowed. Even the current itself seemed to rest in its stillness, as if in a reservoir dammed.

Capybara stood.

Capybara squinted.

“Hast thou come to litigate,” he asked, “or to settle?”

Yahushua looked at him—not unkindly, but with the sort of gaze that causes pretense to collapse under its own weight.

“To fulfill,” He said.

Back on the Kingdom of Earth, whole systems began to abate.

Royal Arabian Oil’s monopolies unraveled, and its decentralized districts further dissolved into households in their tribes.

The Archangelic Police Force opened the skies to mass transit through space, and surveillance gave way to witness.

And in a dusty corner of New Bat City, which had almost forgotten how to hope, the reformed raccoon gang—Bandana Dan and his Boys—redistributed imported grain shipments with solemn efficiency and only occasional theatrical flair.

“We’re saved now,” Bandana Dan insisted, adjusting his bandana like a badge. “Spiritually sanctioned by the Most High.”

“Provisionally,” one of the Djedi Ambassadors muttered.

On the rice world, the grain flowed freely.

Not owned. Not controlled…

but shared.

The Beaverjesuits hath foretold it. The current had never been theirs to possess, only to guide until one could become it.

Little Beaver stood in the firmament with the resurrected dead as a living clause that could not be exploited.

Capybara approached him from the space below.

“So,” he said, hands in pockets, “where does that leave people like me?”

Little Beaver regarded him.

“Held accountable,” he said.

Capybara winced. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

A silence.

Then, unexpectedly:

“And… necessary.”

Capybara blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“You understand systems,” Little Beaver said. “You navigate them. Twist them. Reveal their weaknesses.”

Capybara considered that.

“I break things,” he said.

“You expose where they were already broken,” Little Beaver replied.

For the first time in a long time, Capybara didn’t have a clever response.

Above them, the sky settled into something honest.

The current flowed—not hidden, not controlled, but present. Accessible. Alive.

Back in orbit, The Immaculate Deficit was no longer empty.

Not filled, exactly.

But purposed.

Capybara looked out across the desert of waking grain, at the Djedi knights in their labors, at the Beavers in their contemplation, at the improbable coalition of trust, faith, and belief.

“Well,” he said, straightening his coat, “I suppose this calls for a new contract.”

Father Beaver, standing beside him, allowed the faintest hint of smile.

“This time,” Beaver said, “we write it together.”

Capybara nodded.

For once, beaver legal construction didn’t sound like a trap.

It sounded like fair terms.

The End.

[constructed with artificial intelligence]